In our spare time, we tend to wander onto Google and hunt down naked pictures of former football player and pro wrestler Bill Goldberg. And why not? From the WWE to TV’s Automaniac, Goldberg’s turned a hot ass, a mean growl and the world’s cutest grey-shot goatee to get our attention from head to, um, head. We won’t go as far as some of you and join his fan club–but you will catch us DVD-repeating his shower scene in The Longest Yard, where the innuendo about his supposedly huge cock is only overshadowed by his 98-percent-nakedness.
What can you find out there in the cyber Goldberg world? From his official media site, nearly nothing. From CNN, you get juicier details: Bill wore a cock sock during filming of Longest Yard, and apparently had anchor Kyra Phillips with a case of the creeping moisties.
CNN’s KYRA PHILLIPS; Did it feel good to pack them on again and get out there and… plow some people?
GOLDBERG: It felt terrific except for the fact that I realized I wasn’t 22-years-old anymore.
PHILLIPS: Were you a little sore?
GOLDBERG: Oh, I was real sore. I took on way more than I should’ve, believe me.
And from gossip Web sites, you’ll get the inevitable rumors, like Goldberg spending lots of time with someone not his wife and not a woman at a certain 24-hour nightclub. (For the record, he’s married with a son. Woof, daddy!) And you get really bad Photoshop creations, with John Holmes’ skanky cock attached to Goldberg’s perfect hips.
Until we catch him in some celestial locker room in the sky needing a butt rub, we’ll stick with the various Goldberg worship sites out there. And to be sure, we will beware Googling “goldberg naked,” without filters–lest we end up catching a random Whoopi Goldberg shot and losing our lunch.
The official line: www.billgoldberg.com
Wrestling compendium: Obsessed With Wrestling
Wikipedia basics: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Goldberg
