Just one Hot House Video man could keep us fantasizing about a post-holiday stuffing of our own. But throw in personal stroke fave Shane Rollins with 17 other porno princes and you have an easy way of keeping our attention in front of the tube for a few hours while you run out to do errands. That’s right, ma — all we want for Christmas this year is Hot House’s The Missing, a multi-cocked extravaglanza that offers up two hours’ worth of uncut action in a special two-disc set coming soon.

The plot’s a simple one: two lovers have a sweet romantic interlude with plenty of candles, wine and a quart of EZ lube. Then in the middle of the night, one is kidnapped and forced into a life of sleazy, compulsory sex with a pair of owners you wouldn’t wish on the toughest pit bull. Humiliation? How else would you describe being caged in and used as the pedestal for an oh-so-’80s glass-topped dining table? Up until the last detail, we had totally suspended our disbelief and figured that scenario played out every day in the Castro.

Sign up now at Hot House to pre-order your copy (we beat you to it). And until the UPS guy arrives with a shy look and a bulging jumpsuit, download the iPod-compatible preview clips that include hardcore action with full penetration. Our video iPod battery’s already worn down. Then send the UPS guy our way.

The Missing [HotHouse.com]