Titans of cock rock Led Zeppelin have had their share of cover bands, including the delightfully awful Dred Zeppelin and burrito-shaped lead singer Tortelvis. Now, the leonine lads (minus vomit-choker Bonzo) are being paid a tribute they might really want to watch, dude. A bunch (group? Herd? Parliament?) of lesbians have banded together to use their magical clit-licking powers to perform Zep classics and turn the whole notion of cock rock upside down – or inside out, more precisely, along with a whole wave of lesbo bands with clever names like AC/DShe, Cheap Chick and The Ramonas. LZ’s a little gun-shy when it comes to talking about eating pussy though. “We have sort of a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy,” lead hammer Steph Paynes told Reuters. “What matters is the music.” Yeah? Tell that to Tracy Chapman when she comes a’ fishmongering.

Whole lotta love: http://www.lezzeppelin.com/

The next time you’re driving through the Old Line State, feel free to drop trou. That’s the official word from the state’s judiciary, which ruled this week that mooning, while “disgusting” and “demeaning,” isn’t illegal. The case revolved around a man from the D.C. suburb of Germantown who flashed his hind parts at a female neighbor during an argument. As are most tedious suburban arguments, the dispute centered around a homeowners’ association. The case could have gone against the man-and indecent exposure in the state carries a $1000 fine and up to three years in jail. But Judge Eugene Wolf decided that if mooning were illegal, then half the bathers at Ocean City, Md., beaches would be breaking the law. The defendant’s attorney said the ruling should “bring comfort to all beachgoers and plumbers” in Maryland.

After taking an extremely rare 1-day hiatus for New Years day, this entry qualifies as our 2006 inaugural post. In an effort to keep this as short and sweet as possible, we’d like to take a moment to thank our readers. Many thanks go out to you for your help in bringing our little gay porn outfit as far as you have from it’s obscure beginnings back in early ’05. We have a lot of mouth-watering and titillating changes in the works. So much so that this year’s theme outta be “WayBig in 0oh-Six!” Hey, I like the sound of that!

-The WayBig Team

As we look back through the year in sex, we’re reminded of one simple rule: guys will do anything with their dicks, given the right inspiration. Hark back with us through some of the more odd headlines from 2005:

Idaho Boy Becums Betty Cocker
Hey, that’s not frosting! In an act of biological revenge for having his cheese sandwich slathered with peanut butter, an Idaho kid jerked off onto a pan of brownies and somehow got his friends to eat them. He was charged with disturbing the peace for something every Boy Scout in America is now trying to pull off.

Monogamy with Ranch Dressing
Sex with veal gets off Harold Hart. But the 63-year-old Wisconsin man does have a conscience, dammit. According to arresting police who took his statement, Hart stopped by a certain farm more than 50 times to fuck baby cows-but never did it while he was married or with a girlfriend. Because that would be just wrong.

Double-bagging Gone Awry
An Iowa Wal-Mart greeter gave customers a little lagniappe when he handed out pictures of himself naked, save for a Wal-Mart bag strapped to his Tom Johnson. Dean Wooten said it was all a joke, sir—he was only lampooning the company’s supposed “new uniforms.” Told by bosses to stop, he kept on flashing by proxy–and got canned. On the upside, he was able to walk out with his dignity intact, having lost it by taking the job in the first place.

New Orleans is slowly getting its act together. And with most of the basics back in place, the city’s hankering for visitors of every stripe, particularly the gay boys, says the Southern Voice, Atlanta’s gay newspaper. And one of the big reasons to head to the Big Easy for a weekend jaunt is the overabundance of manly men on the ground in what remains of the city. One horny old codger, formerly the city’s health department director, estimates that the city’s 60 to 70 percent male these days, thanks to FEMA, the military presence and the hasty exodus of the city’s lesbian and child-rearing community (gym teachers and their students, we imagine). Dr. Brobson Lutz says the heady, male-heavy atmosphere “is very unusual for a U.S. city, and probably more characteristic of an old frontier operation like in the Wild West or in Alaska.” G. Gordon Liddy would call it a target-rich environment: we’ll just add that the city’s bathhouse is back on its feet, or off them, and the Corner Pocket is as delightfully skeevy as ever. Laissez le bon temps rouler!

Life goes on for gay New Orleans [SoVo.com]

Boy-on-boy action really isn’t anything new, you know. Your dad’s football team did it, so did Granddad’s Civil War buddies, and hey — now the New York Times is suggesting that ancient Egyptians not only counted gay men among them, they sent them into the afterlife in high fashion.

Monday’s edition tells the story of a tomb unearthed in 1964 that’s been controversial from that day. Though it didn’t contain jewels like the royal tombs of Tutankhamen, the tomb has elaborate art. And on the tomb’s walls is a painted pictograph of two men embracing. The men—Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep, says the inscription—were the chief manicurists to the king.

Then as it is now, doing the royal mani-pedi was an occupation reserved for honorable men (and today, Vietnamese women). Even more interesting, the men appeared to be nose-kissing—kind of the “drop it like it’s hot” of the day. Were they friends, conjoined twins or lovers? The Egyptology community can’t seem to get it straight. And for all eternity, neither could these boys.

A Mystery, Locked in Timeless Embrace: NYTimes [Free Subscription Required]

Egyptology.com

Maybe it’s the dawn of a new Papacy – or maybe the Italian government realizes the best thing about the place is the wealth of hot, hung dudes who don’t mind dropping trou for the hundreds of straight and gay porno mags we always find on the streetcorners in Rome. Whatever the reason, Italy is in the midst of making a law that would put a 20-percent tax on pornography. The Associated Press says that the tax could raise up to $260 million dollars a year. One lawmaker says it’s necessary to tax “not essential” products to close a budget gap. Budget Gap? That’s it! We needed a name for our set-in-Congress porno film, starring Nancy Pelosi, and now we’ve found it! Thanks again, Italy!

Shopping for the perfect gift for that certain someone this holiday season? You might think eBay wouldn’t have any of the hardcore toys your slutty little elf would want–and you’d be wrong. The world’s largest seller of cool stuff and simultaneously, pure crap, is surprisingly liberal with the kinds of auctions it allows, as we found out late Saturday night while waiting for our CCBill confirmation code to come through.

It turns out eBay is chock full of really useful sex toys, like a three-headed dildo (three in a row, for anal-bead-style action) and an art-glass dildo that would be fab up your ass or on display along with Grandma’s china. Sure, you could cheap out with the innocuous bachelorette-party gag gifts like useless “egg” vibrators and cum towels (no thanks – we already have a Polo set). But for the same price, why not up for the “Professional Dildo Model” T-shirt instead? In case you’re wondering what you can and can’t buy, check here for eBay’s policies.

After Sex Towel XXL

Professional Dildo Model

Art Glass Dildo

This weekend marks an epic moment in film history: Heath Ledger (remember him from this silly animated GIF right here at Waybig last week?) and Jake Gyllenhaal star as gay cowboys in the rave-reviewed Brokeback Mountain. Our ticket’s not good until tomorrow afternoon’s show, but here’s a smattering of the early reviews coming in from across the media:

“Beyond painting a spectacular portrait of the American West and treating issues of gayness and masculinity with intelligence and sensitivity, “Brokeback Mountain” does something many films aspire to but fail to achieve: It convinces you that two people have fallen in love…”– PlanetOut.com

“This moving and majestic film would be a landmark if only because it is the first Hollywood movie to unmask the homoerotic strain in American culture that Leslie Fiedler discerned in his notorious 1948 Partisan Review essay, “Come Back to the Raft Ag’in, Huck Honey”… “Brokeback Mountain” is ultimately not about sex (there is very little of it in the film) but about love: love stumbled into, love thwarted, love held sorrowfully in the heart.”—New York Times

“Brokeback Mountain is the ultimate response to those who think the lineup on cable TV’s Encore Westerns is a tad too homogenized. It’s a heart-wrenching portrayal of unfulfilled Wyoming love, but this time, we don’t mean Alan Ladd and Jean Arthur in Shane… while many of today’s movies don’t really end — you see a splice, and the end credits roll — the capper here is a kick in the gut. It’s an old-style virtue for a film that’s old-style in the best way: unassuming but people-oriented and aiming to endure.”—USA Today

When you’re done absorbing the reviews, check over at MSNBC’s hilarious column on how straight guys can endure the movie with their girlfriends:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10342237/

For all the Christians in the hizzouse (where y’at?) who happen to be flaming homos, a normal holiday card won’t do. Gotta be glam — and it should probably be borderline smutty too. After we got “Daddy Claus” in the mail, we decided to steer you into the online bookstore at A Different Light for more hot holiday wishes.

Now, A Different Light doesn’t have glory holes or angry counter help like our favorite bookstore, but it does carry loads of Christmas and Hanukkah wishes you can legally send by USPS. (We’re hoping next year their Kwanzaa selection will look like Adam Dexter).

Try the hunky reindeer for twinkie-tending friends, and for a truly Christian traditional card, we suggest the handsomely assed Christmas Butt card – and follow the star all the way to Bethlehem or wherever they cruised in the days before Jesus.

Daddy Claus (Box Cards)
Hunky Reindeer (Box Cards)
Christmas Butt (Box Cards)

Remember that line from the Dudley Moore movie, Crazy People? “Jaguar: the car for men who want handjobs?” Well apparently Jaguar no longer wants to be associated with handjobs of any kind, since the company won’t be running ads in gay magazines anymore. The Advocate says Ford is pulling Jaguar ads from gay magazines and Web sites, along with those from its sister vehicle the Land Rover. And the smelly finger of the American Family Association is in on it: the group had threatened Ford with a boycott unless it de-fagged its ad policies. Ford says its move wasn’t the result of the boycott but groups like the HRC are demanding that the company come out in favor of, uh, coming out.

Ford is still letting Volvo be as gay as they want to be, though, since the car’s built in a country that lets two men register at IKEA together.

God knows this dump needs a good cleaning. But Waybig’s palatial offices can’t just have some Polish housewife mopping the floors, can it? When we scrape together the money, we’re heading over to ButtNakedButlers.com, even though we have no idea whether they do windows or just each other. BNB promises they are not an escort service; instead, their men are prepped in the finer arts of butt-naked cleaning (lots of polishing, we imagine), butt-naked cooking (eek! Watch the stove!) and butt-naked massage (that’s more like it!). Until then, we’re eager to hear your experiences with naked manservants—and we don’t mean the gimped-out, zippered-up type.
Email us and tell us your story. We’ll just be sorting the laundry meanwhile.

A versatile, multi-use personal lubricant that spreads nicely between your favorite buns.

The site states: Boy Butter is a revolutionary multi-purpose lubricant, which maximizes the pleasure of sexuality in all its forms and provides guaranteed good times. Preferred by Boys, Girls, Men, Women, Gays, Lesbians, Heterosexuals, Fetishists, Jews, Christians, Buddhists and Muslims alike.

http://www.boybutterlubes.com

Pardon the Craigslist headline, but allow us a minute to tell you how fine the Montreal strip scene is, starting with the home of horny hotties who drop their pants for loonies (that’s the Canadian dollar, not us). Campus is a strip club matched only by Toronto’s Remington’s, the Atlanta venue Swinging Richards, and possibly the Nob Hill Theater in San Francisco for sheer gay abandon, not to mention huge swinging cocks in your face.

What makes Campus so great isn’t the convenient location – right in the heart of le ghetto gaie on Rue St. Catherine – or the total nonchalance in which you can enter while boys on the sidewalks head into the coffee shop next door or the convenience store beneath.

What really gets our attention from all heads involved are the guys. For some reason, Montreal has an abundance of construction workers, straight men with trade jobs who also like to trade out off stage with no clothes on. Private dance booths let you see up close what you might have missed from a distance. Hey, is that your girlfriend’s perfume on your pubes? Works for us. And at 20 Canadian dollars a song for whatever they’ll agree to, we think you’ll agree that Canada is still a great bargain destination.

Many of the buff, huge guys are Russian emigrants, so be prepared to speak in tongues. See the meat parade daily from 3pm to 3am, but beware: the place is hot-and-cold-running with chicks on Sunday nights.

Plan your Montreal side trip: http://www.campusmtl.com