In ancient times, the Elders talked of life's great mysteries and the great void. They would speak of a coming warrior whose heart would be pure, and whose ass would be tight. This warrior, it is said, must vanquish apprehension of the unknown, and fear no penis in Heaven and on Earth. It is said that a new incarnation of the warrior will arrive on Earth once every four hundred years, and you will know he is real by the size of the load he spews...